Saturday, 07.05.08
WALL-E

I thought WALL-E would be an enjoyable animated film when I first saw the its trailer, but I was in no way prepared for what Pixar had to offer. WALL-E presents such a rich visual palette that the viewer is nearly overwhelmed with every scene. And for those who are willing to look past the cute robot, the story and setting present such obvious comentary on today's world and we who inhabit it: a waste disposal robot is portrayed as being more capable of feeling emotion than we are.

With absolutely no dialog the viewer makes an almost instantaneous connection to our protagonist (it requires minimal effort to look past Wall-e's similarity to Johnny 5), feeling his loneliness as the whole world has abandoned him. His entire existance has come to be motivated by one thing: physical contact.

(V.VII.MMVIII)

Saturday, 07.05.08
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The long-awaited forth full-length installment of the Indiana Jones Chronicles is finally a reality within our grasp... but is that necessarily a good thing?

Indiana Jones has always worked because of Indy's interaction and relationships with the other characters (Raiders had Marian, Belloq, and Sallah, Last Crusade had Dr. Jones, Sr.) as driven by the quest to keep a mystical, usually religious item out of the hands of the bad-guys. With Indy 4, the countless main characters made it impossible for any sort of character development, a shortcoming which is especially evident for Indy, as he usually undergoes the greatest change of all. The trademark cool tomb/catacomb scenes were replaced with ONE really shoddy sound stage graveyard scene (this is a problem that got my attention in the first scene of the film as well as the Star Wars prequels with their floppy-foam helmet aliens). [spoilers: mouseover for insightful commentary] I have no problem with aliens, but a multidimensional non-earthly creature would display some sort of rationale in his behavior, even after being in a suspended state for a few thousand years, and if that's not the case, maybe the Tarzan and attacking moneys might could have been omitted in favor of building some sort of precedent for its completely random behavior (and really generic appearance). My suspension of disbelief is not strong enough, or should I say, this film did not build enough suspension of disbelief for me to handle Spalko disintegrating for no reason, the Jones's NOT disintegrating for the same nonexistent reason and certainly not enough for me to watch the landscape turn into a flying saucer that also disintegrated. [/spoiler]

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I did not like this movie: I know I have been anticipating it for a VERY long time, but I also think my expectations were realistic: story and character above monkey armies, man-eating ants, water falls leading to nowhere, rubber trees and senseless special effects strung together by a weak story and a poorly written script. So much of what Lucas and Speilberg expected us to enjoy would be rejected as "plot" for even a Saturday morning cartoon. It is with a heavy heart that I write what follows: Steven Spielberg might consider retirement and George Lucas should not be allowed within 500 yards of a pen, pencil, typewriter, computer, PDA or phone with text capabilities or any recording devices.

(V.VII.MMVIII)

Tuesday, 02.19.08
Knocked Up

I was a bit unsure of this film when it first started getting advertised (yeah, a comedy making light of a tragic epidemic in today's culture), but was immediately won over upon my initial theatrical viewing. The DVD release brought to light the fact that a review of this film is most conspicuously lacking from this forum. It is in that vein that this late commentary comes to you.

Knocked Up is not only an amazing comedy in its own right, but also a marvelous satire of marriage, dating, and today's social situation. The stark contrast created by the married and un-couples is astonishing. Alison and Ben are miserable because of the novelty of their situation, while Debbie and Pete are miserable because of the monotony of their situation. The jokes and laughs range from cheap sophomoric humor (the transmission of pink eye due to farting on pillows) to surprisingly poignant, deep and insightful semi-jokes ("You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!" Debbie says about husbands). The running gags and one liners leave the audience rolling on the floor laughing [is it ROFL in the vernacular?] each and every time. Not only is this a must have for any movie collection, but it is likely to start a collection of its own (The Forty Year Old Virgin, Accepted, Superbad)!

(XIX.II.MMVIII)

Sunday, 02.17.08
Cloverfield

Cloverfield proved to be an interesting and artistic work presented by J.J. Abrams (Lost, Star Trek). In its attempt to revitalize the monster flick, however, it failed dismally. The amateur/camcorder style of filming is reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project, although here its execution is considerably more palatable. The lack of story, character development or any sense whatsoever makes the appreciation of this movie as more then a failed student film very difficult. The marketing campaign was pretty good, but if it wasn't for its narrative style and presentation, this movie would probably have gone unnoticed; indeed, it probably would never have been made if J.J. Abrams hadn't attached his name to it.

I'm glad I watched it in the theater (although, I would recommend taking a dramamine before your viewing), I don't think I'm going to take too much notice when its released on dvd/blu-ray.

(XVII.II.MMVIII)

Saturday, 02.15.08
Jumper

So. I was a bit curious to see what Hayden Christensen had to offer the field of acting aside from poorly executes shitty scripts and a whole mess of whining. I was pretty impressed. No, really; although I must note that the chick "acting" opposite him (one Rachel Bilson, whom I had heard nothing of before this film) seemed to me to be a daytime television reject on account of her horrible screen presence and unconvincing recital of the lines. Perhaps Hayden just seemed like the skilled thespian in the company of Miss Rachel. Now, overlooking the painfully tragic (bad tragic, not Shakespeare tragic) leading lady, the movie was not half bad, as far as CGI driven novel interpretations go, that is. The effects were astonishing and the characters were believable (well, only as believable as teleporting humans go), although Samuel L. Jackson may have overdone his part just a tad. At any rate, it was an enjoyable hour and a half, but I'm not gonna rush out and buy the DVD... 5 cool points are awarded, simply because despite all the points against it, Jumper still turned out to be an entertaining motion picture.

Oh, and I was very excited to see a theater version of the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull [click the VIDEOS link] trailer.

(XV.II.MMVIII)

Thursday, 02.22.07
Hannibal Rising

Hannibal Rising is the story of a young man's love for his family, and for that meaty part of a person's cheeks.

For better or for worse, this installment in the Hannibal Lecter chronicles explains in very clear terms why Hannibal is the way he is and how he became this way. The mystery and suspense of the intimidating genius/cannibal secured behind the plexi-glass wall is a thing of the past, only to be replaced with this monster that is created instead of the monster that just is.

Although Hannibal Rising is in and of itself an amazing movie with an excellent cast, marvelously rich acting and a great story, the audience leaves with a sense of astonishment that doesn't linger for too long. Instead, a feeling of deja vu washes over them as they realize that this is all too familiar territory.

(XXII.II.MMVII)

Sunday, 01.06.07
Eragon

Alright: I have a little story to tell.
Imagine a great and wonderous place that was once guarded by an elite group of magic users, one of whom eradicated all his collegues and turned the known world into a place of darkness. These evil master-of-all has something very important to him stollen by a rebel princess, who losses possession of the thing then gets captured by a secondary bad-guy. This valuable thing falls into the hands of an ignorant farmboy, who discovers its meaning with the aid of the local hermit/crazy guy (who was also once a member of the above mentioned elite guardians). The boy aquires magic abilities and they are off to get the thing to the rebellion, not before stopping to save the princess from the secondary bad-guy (where the mentor gives his life so the farmboy and princess can escape). The farmboy and princess inadvertantly lead the secondary bad-guy to the rebellion's secret hidin gplace, where a battle ensues. The farmboy defeats the secondary bad-guy and becomes a hero of the rebellion.

So as you can see, you could have just watched Star Wars: A New Hope and gotten the exact same story, the only differences would have been that you would have seen a classic space-opera with an original plot instead of Eragon, which was painfully unoriginal.

(VI.I.MMVII)

Saturday, 11.18.06
Casino Royale

And yet again, Bond has redefined the action movie genre. Although not entirely a spy mystery, Bond is no longer the invincible super-spy of a by-gone era, shooting minions with the greatest of ease. In fact, there are no minions at all. No Communists, no evil plots for world domination, no gadgets (who needs gadgets when you have a cell phone), no Moneypenny, no Q, but it is somehow still very Bond-esq. Bond gets beaten and bruised, even spending a stint in the hospital. I must say that I did not miss the omnipotent Bond who has everything figured out or handed to him in the first half hour; in a revolutionary change of events Bond actually follows hunches (much to M's chagrin) and learns plot points along with the viewer. The dialogue is no longer dominated by Bond's increasingly weak attempts at wit; it is replaced instead by long moments of silence, allowing the visual medium to do its job and tell a story. This movie was a surprisingly personal story about James Bond. I think the removal of the insanely elaborate chase scenes (although Casino Royale does have a good one), the invincible villains (Le Chiffre turns out to be a lackey) and the excessive munitions has allowed for the telling of very good story, whereas in the past, these tools have been used to hide the weaker plots.

Casino Royale is an amazing movie, by any standard, from any standpoint; the blonde haired, blue eyed Daniel Craig is okay by me, and if his Bond movies keep turning out like this one, he can have the role until he gets fat and gray (or until he gets a career).

(XVIII.XI.MMVI)

Sunday, 11.12.06
Borat:
Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I found this to be an absolutely hilarious motion picture film, completely what I expected. It seems that every few years or so a totally repulsive, obnoxious and god-awful movie is releases (see Broken Lizard's Super Troopers, Dumb and Dumber, Kung Pow: Enter The Fist) but in all its pathetic glory, it manages to dominate the theaters, become the talk of the town and just plain crack everyone up. I think Borat… is that movie: its edge of your seat content leaves the viewer wondering "What can he possibly do to top THAT?!?!" from one scene to the next.

I was so thoroughly entertained that I have to give this movie 6 cool points.

(XII.XI.MMVI)

Sunday, 08.13.06
Miami Vice

Michael Mann is the man, redundent though that may sound. Having never watched the series I really can't compare it to the movie, but I stand firm in my assumption that it was nothing like this gritty, dirty, COPS-like film. Dialouge is virtually non-existant, the plot is predictable, but all of these shortcomings are made up for... and then some. It cannot be classified as an action flick by any stretch. Just like it's predicessor, Heat, this is a quiet, introspective motion picture, focusing more on the characters then on their actions. Mood and context reign supreme, it seems, in Micheal Mann's worlds and he does it oh so well; words are kept to a minimum because every image, every color tells a deeper, more pertinant story than anything spoken could possibly convey. I strongly feel that this film's main (and I dare-say, only) action sequence was simply inserted for the status quo, omision of which probably would have made for an even more powerful and visual story.

Miami Vice is an amazing work of art in every regard, saturating the viewer in a beautifly dirty reality. I feel as though I have no choice but to award it 7 cool points, making Miami Vice the first formally reviewd film in over a year to hit the top of the chart.

(XIII.VIII.MMVI)

Monday, 08.07.06
Lady In The Water

Poor Pinky... the silly white rodent really never had much going for him exceptfor his friendship to the Brain, ability to contribute to modern science and his one word catch phrase. M. Night Shyamalan had to take the latter from him, which (I later realized) seriously diminished any plausability of his film, making it infinitely more difficult to suspend disbeleif.

As advertised, Lady In The Water is a fiary tale… fairly straight-forward. The water people, from whom humans have grown away, are trying to talk some serious sense into man, one person at a time. A Narf (as Pinky has oft-times been known to say) is sent in the middle of the night where she must find and meat the person she is to influence. The Narf character seems to operate very similar to a muse: "I meet you, you become inspired." Actually, the entire story (although it tends to fall into a few lulls from time to time) turns out pretty palletable.

The most notable characteristic of this, M. Shyamalan's latest work is the lack of the trademark whopper of a twist at the end. The writer/director decided, instead, to spread out the one major surprise across a few smaller, less shocking (and sometimes predictable) surprises.

There is no arguing M. Night Shyamalan's ability to use this medium to his advantage, but this time he tried too hard and fell short. The movie was captivating, beautiful and uplifting but as far as an M. Night Shyamalan film, this avid moviegoer was disappointed.

(VII.VIII.MMVI)

Friday, 08.04.06
Clerks II

The long awaited Kevin Smith sellout flick: after realizing his Jay and Silent Bob free flick don't do so well (i.e. Jersy Girl), K.S. decided to bring the dynamic duo (no relation) out of retirement. Hey, props to the man; if it works, go with it.

The latest installment to the whatever-he-calls-it series lacks much of the witty, sometimes redundent dialogue of its predecessors, opting instead to go with a fairly pointless story no one seems to care about. No characters passionately back their trivial beleifs here; with the exceptions of a "Trilogy Wars" (Star Wars original vs. Lord of the Rings) and a short-lived "ass-to-mouth" running gag.

The experience of watching this movie left me fullfilled until I got home, when I realized the incredibal magnitude of it's lameness. I give it 2 cool points, but don't ask me why I rate it so high, I guess I'm just feeling generous.

Oh yeah, if you like to watch a guy named Kelly screwing a donkey. then this is the movie for you.

(IV.VIII.MMVI)

Wednesday, 07.26.06
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
courtesy of Nicole Anderson
expanded version

Dead Man's Chest picks up soon after Curse of the Black Pearl left off. We find Jack Sparrow - excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow - up to his old tricks, but strangely off-kilter. He is looking for a key, but no one is for sure just why. Worse, it seems that even though he is determined to find the key and the chest that it unlocks, he has no idea what it is that he wants. Then he receives a midnight visit from an old crewmate, who warns him that his time is up. Davy Jones, captain of the cursed Flying Dutchman, is coming to collect on the deal he made with Captain Jack 13 years ago: Jack Sparrow's soul (which means 100 years of service as a crewmember of the Flying Dutchman) in exchange for 13 years as Captain of the Black Pearl. Scared witless, Jack seeks out the help of a voodoo priestess he once knew, who tells him the key he is searching for opens the Dead Man's Chest, which holds the heart of Davy Jones. If you have the heart, you have control of the Kracken, the sea monster that is the source of Davy Jones' power.

Meanwhile, back in Port Royal, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann are about to wed, when Lord Bennett, an ambitious new representative from Great Britain's military, shows up with a stack of arrest warrants. They turn out to be for Jack, Will, Elizabeth, and the former Commodore Norrington, who has resigned his commission and left Port Royal. Elizabeth is immediately jailed to ensure the cooperation of Will and Governor Swann. Will is taken before Lord Bennett, where he is told all charges will be dropped and he can earn a pardon for Jack if he can get Jack's compass. Will tells Bennett that he will not divulge the location of the Aztec Gold, for the curse is very real. Bennett simply states that the Aztec treasure is not the only treasure in the sea. Will reluctantly agrees, and the adventure is on!

What follows is a series of adventures aboard the Black Pearl, then the Flying Dutchman. Will ends up aboard the Flying Dutchman and encounters the last person he would have expected to see. Meanwhile, Elizabeth finds Captain Jack and sets out after Will, but all is not exactly well between her and Jack. Everyone is finally reunited just as the Dead Man's Chest is located, and what follows is the most hilarious fight I have ever seen. Unfortunately, Davy Jones is not to be thwarted out of Jack's soul, and what lies in store for Captain Jack Sparrow at the end of this movie is something no one saw coming.

This second installment of Pirates is no less entertaining than the first, but it is nowhere near as smooth. The viewer is pulled from one high to the next, each bigger than the last, but experiencing vertigo, disorientation, and just plain confusion in between. There are some first-class swordfights/chase scenes, and the special effects are stellar, but there are several loose ends and attitude changes that left this viewer wondering "what?" My mind knows this is because, unlike the last movie, they are deliberately leaving things open-ended for the sequel. My heart, however, just can't reconcile Jack's new aimless act, Elizabeth's hostility, or the is-he-or-isn't-he-a-bad-guy antics of a certain former military man who turns up unexpectedly in the middle.

Despite this, I loved the movie. It did what a sequel is supposed to do: continue the story, introduce some new twists, and leave us begging for the next installment

(XXVI.VII.MMVI)

Sunday, 07.17.05
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

And we have another vision from the dark and quasi-evil mind of director Tim Burton. This film is a very muted, faded version of the colorful children's story I feel it was originally intended to be, in much the same way a pretty cotton t-shirt gets faded in the wash. Now people are going to say "well. he must have really hated the movie on account of he just compared it to really old and worn laundry." But no no no; that's not what's being said here, merely an analogy, a comparison of colors and textures, if you would. Even the brighter, vibrant colors seem to have been deliberately tweaked. But at any rate, the movie presents the audience with a series of characters, all of whom are incredibly captivating and even mesmerizing at times. In fact, what i found most interesting about this most recent of Burton's creations is that it was so very focused on characters, sometimes at the expense of the setting's taking a back seat.

The movie was most certainly worth the wait and not just because of the opportunity to watch Johnny Depp create another character. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is being awarded 6 cool points, taking the one point cut simply because all of the teeth in the movie were either nasty and grungy or just incredibly disturbing.

(XVII.VII.MMV)

Tuesday, 07.05.05
Sin City

From the twisted mind of Robert Rodriguez (the half geared towards adults, at any rate) comes the first of three big screen interpretations of Frank Miller's gritty graphic novel series. Rodriguez seems to have used the comics themselves as his storyboard, and script, staying true to the original sequences and even the camera angles. The black & white and reverse black & white of Miller's novels were captured beautifully. This unusual, but very effective, use of digital technology gave the film a truly unique tone; a dirtier, more dangerous feel then the film noir flicks from which the stories seem to have gained their first person narrative-type origins.

The stories themselves are awesome. Beautifully crafted to be moving, heart filled tales in a city without hope. Each character, even those with limited screen time, has tremendous depth. The three protagonists battle corruption in three braches of today's society (church, government and law enforcement).

Based on all relevant factors, Sin City was a mesmerizing journey into darkness each and every time I saw it. 7 cool points (plus at least half a dozen to carry over to the sequels, not that I think they will need them)

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

George Lucas may finally have redeemed himself. Unbeknownst to the editor, he IS capable of telling a story. The movie carried itself very well for a Lucas film. Palpatine's seduction of Anakin seemed completely believable. Highpoints include (but are not limited to) five light saber duels, the greatest Star Wars space combat scene of all six films, merely one scene with Jar-Jar Binks (in which he was relegated to the sidelines), an army of wookiees unleashing their full might and a car commercial… sorry: the masking of Darth Vader.

Low points include Padmé's limited screen time, Anikin whining, the extermination of the Jedi Knights being told in a matter of minutes, Jar-Jar surviving and Yoda getting his ass handed to him. Aside from the numerous problems, this episode is, by far, the most interesting and entertaining installment of the Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader saga. Lucas has most definitely told the story he set out to tell, even if it took him nearly two movies (and a lot of merchandising) to develop any momentum.

Overall, the first trilogy was about Vader's redemption, and the prequel trilogy was about Lucas' redemption. And I feel he has done a splendid job. Cool points: 10 (out of 7, simply to boost the overall rating for the trilogy as a whole, since the previous two were lacking).

(V.VII.MMV)

Sunday, 07.03.05
War of the Worlds

As ever, Steven Spielberg takes full advantage of the latest technology available in the industry to tell a compelling story. His re-telling of the 20th century H.G. Wells science-fiction classic introduces the now familiar story to a whole new generation with a believability that was not possible until now.

In classic Spielberg form, the introduction of a young character to the story makes empathizing with the protagonists much easier, as well as helping to comfortably secure the PG-13 rating.

The first person perspective makes for an incredibly personal story as well as enhancing suspense by limiting the audience's understanding of the events taking place.

Needless to say, the special effects were superb. The tripods' rampage, the aliens' close-ups, the devastation of the city: all seem very believable, considering the subject matter.

All in all, the editor felt not at all let down by the film: every expectation was met or exceeded

For a suspenseful, edge-of-your-seat, uplifting, "the human spirit will prevail" kinda movie (with tripedal aliens with tripedal walkers) and plenty of disintegrations, this movie is a must, earning a woping 5 cool points!

(III.VII.MMV)

09.13.04
Resident Evil: Apocalypse

One word describes this marvel of a cinematic franchise: AGAIN! The viewer is left with an insatiable desire to see the next sequel, or at the very least, view the movie once more.

The plot (or lack of) from the original is used as starting point, bringing this film closer in both tone and story, to the original video game: stumbling through Raccoon City, killing undead and other unsavory types. Certain camera locations and angles are very similar to those of the video game (an interface, I'm sure, that I am not the only one who hates). The parallels are more obvious and more entertaining than those of the first. The only shortcomings the editor has found (or allowed himself to find, so far) are the lack of Marilyn Manson from the soundtrack and score and the incredibly irritating open ended ending.

(XIII.IX.MMIV)

09.12.04
Cellular

Kim Basinger does this really cool thing with a piece of glass no bigger than a thumb nail and a carotid artery. And half the movie is her screaming. But that can be overlooked, bacause she's only on screen about 1/3 of the time, sharing the movie with some dude on a cell phone (hence, the title) and Jason Statham (the cool, bald brit of Guy Ritchie fame). William H. Macy's in there too: he did pretty good, I guess. The movie was amusing and very entertaining. Overall, we rate it: "not a bad way to spend 94 minutes."

(XII.IX.MMIV)

Wednesday, 08.18.04 (reprint from college)

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc.  One would expect a heart wrenching story of love and faith, instead, the viewer finds a story of psychoses, confusion, bloodshed and revenge.  Luc Besson is one of few mainstream French director/writers who deserves any merit, creating films like The Fifth Element (also with Milla Jovovich) and The Professional.  He is a brilliant story teller with an unlimited supply of original ideas.  Here, that is his downfall.  This story is not supposed to be original: many of his points are inaccurate and sometimes even demean the character.

The opening is perfect: the energetic young girl, strong of faith, attending confession daily; she would live in church if she could, confessing all her sins.  She here reveals the vision of the "beautiful" boy she sees on a stone throne in a glade.  He comforts her, lets her know her importance, comes to her often and tells her she must be good.  In response, the priest states his lack of understanding, but that she should listen to this voice, because he sounds like he wants the best for her.

Joyfully, young Jeanne races home, through fields of red and yellow.  As she falls and lands, she finds a sword laying beside her… with this confusing gift she proceeds home, encountering a pack of scared wolves… running from the British invaders.  When she arrives at Domrémy, her town is being attacked and burned by the British (the first of several inaccuracies I have encountered, being that the British never got further than Bourgogne, never coming close to Domrémy).  In her house, her sister gives up her hiding place for Jeanne, where Katherine (Jeanne's sister) is killed and raped (in that order).  This event, witnessed by Jeanne through cracks in her cupboard hiding place, plants a hatred and need for revenge in the heart of our heroine, as her sister is impaled by Jeanne's sword.

After witnessing Katherine's funeral, Jeanne is given to her aunt and uncle to be cared, an environment she doesn't care for much.  After her first night, without sleep, without food, she tells her aunt and uncle she must see a priest, who later asks the guardians to bring Jeanne to him, whenever she asks.

Sometime thereabouts, the story skips ahead to Jeanne and her entourage approaching Chinon, to talk with the Dauphin (King Charles VII), or, rather, to give him the message she bares (ie: The Messenger).  Charles' court seems unimpressed, urging him not to meet her, for she might be an assassin; he himself sees no harm in meeting with this illiterate peasant girl.  Charles devises a test: if she spots the real dauphin, she is truly sent by God; Jeanne passes.

Jeanne gains further credibility when she leads an army to victory, retaking from the British the city of Rouen, a fight which has been at a stalemate for some time.  During this fight, Jeanne takes a very severe wound to her chest, as she is hit by an arrow.  The next morning, when the armies are not fighting, Jeanne runs out to the field, banner in hand, urging the French troops to take up arms.  With extra enthusiasm and regained strength, the tired French army defeats the British in the fort.

However, once Reims had been retaken, allowing Charles, the Dauphin, to be crowned King of France, Jeanne is no longer useful.  She is sent to Orlean, where Charles betrays her, denying her the reinforcements she needed.  Further, Charles also allowed the opposition to capture Jeanne, who later auctioned her to the British.

After many humiliating defeats because of this peasant girl, the British had no great love for her, wanting her burned.  In order to do this, the Church had to find her guilty of heresy.  Her trials, as portrayed here, are also inaccurate: the records show Jeanne had a response to everything asked of her, she was not meek and confused as the film portrays her.  Also, the prison sequence, where her vision ages to Dustin Hoffman-like perfection (oh, that was Dustin Hoffman) were very confusing.  These scenes gave the impression that Jeanne was crazy, rather than blessed; that her visions were her own doing, as a justification for her hating and destroying the British.  Even the vision himself has her questioning her actions.  All of this doubt and confusion, and the presence of the stake, force Jeanne to sell out badly, signing a confession just before she is to be burned.  At this time, the vision reveals that he is truly real, offering her what the Church would not: allowing her confession to be heard (this is done after a harsh scolding for her rejection of God's will, for her signing the "confession").  Jeanne tries desperately to revoke her confession to heresy, but is not allowed; instead, the British tear off her clothes while she is in prison, placing men's clothes in her cell, forcing her to wear those.  The bright Brits explain this as witchcraft; she conjured men's clothes.  Hence, she is again a heretic, and finally burned.  A major problem with this is that the Church found her to be a heretic without the help of the British… the decision was made completely by the Church.

Overall, this is a stunning, visually and technically spectacular film.  Certain inaccuracies demean its worth, however, discrediting the myth, history and traditional view of Jeanne, one of France's greatest heroes.

(XIIX.VIII.MMIV)