“What’s red and smells like blue paint?
“Red paint.”

— Kari, Mythbusters

“Number one: when your swimming in the ocean always swim with a buddy. Number two: if I see a shark, I take my dive knife, I stab my buddy.”

— Nathan Fillion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1xDKJxICJQ

“Boner Bomb — Saving the world has never been this hard!”

— Michael Scott, The Office

“The elevators disobeying us!”

— Dwight, The Office

“I’ve chewed on that thing: it’s flatter than day-old beer.”

— John Dorian, Scrubs

“Cylons don’t masturbate.”

— Chris Bullington

“High five, turtle.”

— Parkman, Heroes

“I’m delegating creativity to creative professionals.”

- Ryan Howard, The Office

[taking pills]
“I don’t have a headache, I’m just preparing.”

- Angela, The Office